So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
