Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They have beer where we have blood.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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