ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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