i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
try to milk me bitch
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