The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
