I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
