pop tarts are not kleenex
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
