u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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