Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
