So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
