it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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