I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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