My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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