fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I still have a little drunk in my system
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
