I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
