i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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