Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
