i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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