That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
