escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
