he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
