He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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