im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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