i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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