2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
