my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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