Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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