He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
