TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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