now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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