Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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