made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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