There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
