just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
