fuck your aforementioned shoe
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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