I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
