Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
