i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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