They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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