He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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