I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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