Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
