So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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