At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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