Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
