At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
