I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
