I looked at my own cervix.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
