Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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