and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
